5 Reasons why I miss winter in Buffalo
So it's been a couple years since I've A) posted anything and B) been out of the Buff. Strange to imagine that just about 4 years ago I posted a rant describing the 5 reasons why Buffalo was on my shit list. For the sake of context and quick mental refreshment, here' a copy of that post below:"Sunday, July 03, 2005
5 Reasons why Buffalo is on my shitlist
5. The absence of Taco Del Mar or Q'doba has turned me into a burrito snob.
4. Slush Puppies, Hush Puppies, and Icees just can't deliver a brainfreeze comparable to the Slurpee, and of course providing a 7-11 within the city limits of Buffalo would be too upscale.
3. I hate to break it you Buffalo, but the little pepperonis that curl up and collect mini-puddles of pizza grease might explain why you're considered #4 on America's Most Obese Cities list.
2. The pothole in the northbound right lane of Bailey at the corner of Main and Bailey has not only worn out the alignment on my car, it has officially wore out the shocks and balded the tires. I'm fucking suing goddamnit.
1. Ok I get it, Wegman's is a cultural institution. So would it be that difficult to provide self-checkout lanes!?"
So I put Buffalo on my shitlist for its inabililty to compete with some superficial comforts of home such as mondo burritos, paved roads, and anti-social self-checkout lanes. But after having experienced recent winter conditions in the greater Puget Sound, home to three "wonderful" places near and dear to my heart known as Lakewood, Tacoma, an Seattle, I can't help stop my jaw from falling on the floor in utter amazement of how people cope (or don't) with the concept of winter in these parts. And it just makes me want to take Buffalo, hug it and say "Buffalo I got your back 4 lyfe." It's been two years since I moved away from Buffalo, a city where I didn't realize how much it was possible to appreciate the Culture of Snowplowing - or even a concept commonly just known as Winter Preparedness. Though, in a place like uptight Seattle, it would likely be called "Winter Management" and I'm amazed at how even Seattle fails at that. Seattle is like that seemingly approachable cute guy at the bar that pretends to ignore you if you try to make conversation. I would liken Buffalo to that douchbag ex that never wanted to go on a nice date but gassed up your car every now and then. So basically, when it comes to winter, here are the top 5 reasons why I miss Buffalo and its winter lessons:
5. Real ice-scrapers (you know, the ones that don't fit in your glove-box and instead just hang out with a gallon of de-icer in your back seat because they're just too multi-fuctional and perfect for brushing snow off your car or even shoveling your back tires free, yeah those ones) are rarely sold in any convenience store or any store convenient to buy one for that matter, all leaving Seattlites clueless about the concept of brushing BEFORE you scrape.
4. The culture of snowplowing has made me determined to find a page of engineering snowplow specifications and salt mixture types and fax it to SDOT, WSDOT and King County.
3. Screw the 4th of July, there is nothing more sweetly whitebred American and gratifying than the nighttime smell of Chevy/Ford/GM car exhaust fumes, a Labatt in hand, old men's conversations about the blizzard of '74, and the sound of bottle rockets and fireworks on the first snowfall of the year to the tune of Sweet Child O' Mine.
2. Worrying about getting to the bar BEFORE it snowed was a much bigger predicament to be in than worrying about getting home after midnight.
1. If you happen to make the mistake of purchasing blue windsheild fluid, the cashier at Pep Boys would automatically just swap it for orange de-icer and say "Ya betta get dis one hon." Nobody in Seattle is that nice.
posted by Westcoaster @ 4:12 PM
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